How's My Driving?

anon on, ip-logging off, comments screened

[Tommy looks really slick and not at all like his usual tweedy self. He's standing in front of a sign that says 'Wonders Of The Mysterious Orient' and a tent flap. It's a TOTALLY MYSTERIOUS LOOKING TENT FLAP.]

Ladies and gentlemen, have you ever wished to part the hidden veil of the Far East and see the exotic wonders therein? Have you ever dreamed of a smoke-filled night by the Yangtze River, the voice of the paixiao lulling you to sleep beneath the shadow of the river shrines? Or the awe and amazement of facing the hideous dragon-beast!

[He dramatically throws the tent flap aside so you can see into the exhibit. It's mainly just dark.]

Dream no more, ladies and gentlemen! For inside this tent, you will find the wonders of the mysterious Orient, collected on my travels through those distant, savage lands! Marvel at artifacts of untold power! Tremble at strange and aberrant creatures! Like nothing you've ever seen before, ladies and gentlemen, only twenty cents for the show of a lifetime!

[His tone becomes creepy and serious.]

I must warn you, this show is not for the faint of heart. Children, and ladies of a weak disposition, should stay away.

[Tommy gives a creepy smile and turns the camera off.

Feel free to spam if you want to see the show. It's mainly old-looking weapons, a fake dragon mask, some weird coins, a couple Asian-looking instruments, a piece of what's theoretically a spooky cursed ancient tombstone, and the main attraction: a Ghastly Giant Rat! in a cage (it's a coypu).

Fellow carnies would know that Tommy's still basically Tommy, but to townies he insists on being called The Enigmatic Mr. Brown.]

In light of recent ports, I'm toying with the notion of teaching anyone interested how to use a gun properly. Obviously, there would need to be safety measures implemented, but I believe there are those who would benefit from learning how to defend themselves.


[meant for his friends, still public]

Is everyone alright? For a certain value of 'alright,' that is.


[private to Donnie]

There are four things I would like to discuss with you, in ascending order of importance:

1. Hobbies.
2. Jobs.
3. Goals.
4. My new shoes.

When and where would be convenient for you?


[private to the Admiral]

I'd like a pair of new shoes. Mine are more or less unwearable now.

[added later:]

As well as a sketchbook and some quality pencils for my inmate.

[Tommy's voice comes through shakily. In the background, you can hear what sounds like a man crying out in pain.

The video is mainly static, but you can get occasional glimpses of Tommy, looking a lot more disheveled than usual, standing with his back pressed into a corner of his cell. He has his eyes shut so he doesn't have to look at whatever's crying.]

Ah, hel-- [Static.] I don't m-- [A very loud burst of static that goes on for a long moment.] --ther, but from all appearances, I am trapped here [More static.] --ooner the better.

[Tommy opens his eyes and gives the camera a perplexed and slightly horrified look before his attention is quickly drawn to something else, then there's another loud burst of static before both audio and video cut out.]



[ooc: Tommy's up in the North Wing.]

I realize now may not be the best time to pose a question to the populace at large, but I'm afraid this one simply won't wait.

Has anybody got any scissors? I seem to have misplaced mine.

Hello, one and all! My name's Tommy, and I run the reading room here. I see a few of you have already found it, just be careful to put all the books back exactly where you found them. If you've got any questions about the filing system, don't hesitate to ask! I'll be... well, I'll be in the reading room.

I say, Admiral! This is jolly untoward of you. How am I meant to bathe? I certainly hope this won't last more than a day or two, as I'm much more used to being myself.

I think I may be well enough to totter up to the CES for a few hours. Donnie, care to come? Anyone's welcome. We could make a picnic of it. Some sun and fresh air would be quite healthy, I'm sure.


[private to Hayley]

Would you like to have that discussion now?


[private to Sexby]

I'm not certain what was occupying your attention when I first returned, but I hope it's been concluded successfully by now. I felt I should remedy the fact that we've barely spoken this past month.

[Tommy just keeps hitting the communicator with his paw until video switches on. He's dressed himself about as well as a wallaby can, which is to say that there's a hat on his head and a jacket draped around him. It wouldn't do to be naked, after all.

Humans just hear a sort of hissing or chattering noise, animals can hear him say:]


Hello! I must say, this is dashedly unusual, even for the barge. Still, chins up!

Is there anyone still human that wouldn't mind procuring some fresh vegetables for me? I can't say I care for the thought of eating grass, if it can be helped.


[He snuffles at the screen.]


Can anyone understand me?

Donnie? I don't believe we've met. I'm Tommy, and I'm to be your warden.

I do apologize if this comes in the midst of unpleasant circumstances, but could someone tell me what month it is? I appear to have misplaced some time.

I must say, I've been rather enjoying this little bit of peace and quiet. I've only been on board about two months and already I've been brainwashed, visited ancient Rome, dealt with two takeovers, and it seems that's the normal state of affairs here. How dull life would be without the occasional adventure, though a solid breather every now and then seems quite healthy.

And while it's fresh on my mind, and a tip of my hat to the kitchen staff. I believe I've gained at least a few pounds since my arrival, all thanks to your superb cooking.


[warden filter]

A bit overdue, perhaps, but with the lull in danger and mayhem, this might be a good time to hold that get-together I proposed so long ago. If anyone would still be interested, I suggest this Friday in that handy room above deck.


[private to Sexby]

How are you holding up, sir? It seemed you took the robot invasion a bit hard.


[private to Campbell]

My apologies, Mr. Campbell, that our trip to the billiard room and forest was rained out, as it were. I should like to reschedule. When might be good for you?

I also find myself curious about your life story. It might do you some good to talk to someone about it, and I'd like to hear a bit more about this second World War. As though the original wasn't disaster enough.

[filtered to Loki, Peter and Nathan Petrelli, Aleera, Namor, Claire, Libby, and Shell; visible to McCoy, Sam, Chekov, Tosh, and Martha]

Good afternoon all! It seems we have a bit of a situation on our hands, and it would be wise to make for higher ground, as it were. If you'd be kind enough to give me your name and location - privately - I shall make my way to you. Let's not make breaks for it on our own or we could wind up as one of the Borg, which I don't think anybody wants.

Apart from the Borg, I suppose.


[private to Campbell]

A Dr. Jones is in charge of evacuating the first floor. Please follow her instructions. She'll get you to the dining hall safely.

A hairy few moments there, it seems, but I trust everyone is alright? No one accidentally liquefied themselves or... turned into a squid or whatever other strange powers seem to abound here?


Mr. Campbell, how is that play coming? I'd be very interested in reading it. I also think a rousing game of billiards followed by a trip to the Enclosure might do you some good.


Oh, and Admiral? I don't supposed it would be possible to have the Times delivered? Your library is quite extensive but I do find myself missing the comforts of home and all that.

Mr. Campbell, is it? It seems I'm to be your warden. So, introductions and all that.

Hello! I'm Tommy. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir!

[private to Krycek]

Mr. Krycek? You're the one who's been inquiring after weapons, are you not?


[private to Sexby; added later]

Some news, Mr. Sexby! Your mysterious Mr. Arntzen is an inmate by the name of Alex Krycek, though he may claim to be a warden. He's also rather a truculent fellow.

Is it common for one to lose all memory of oneself every time this ship makes landfall? I was rather looking forward to stretching my legs, but it seems I may as well have stretched somebody else's.


[warden filter]

Now that most of the fuss seems to have died down, I have a proposal. Might it not be a good idea for all the wardens to have a biweekly, or at least monthly, get-together? A social occasion of sorts, with a buffet, simply to welcome our newest arrivals and allow them to meet everyone face-to-face.

[filtered from the Captain Party]

The Admiral. Opinions? Thoughts? Was he a good leader or a bad? If you brought up an issue with him, would he respond?

I'd like some more information before I entirely make up my mind about this new development.


[added later:]

Are there people here who rescued the Doctor? It's been brought to my attention that you may know how to get to the control room.


[also added later:]

In an effort to consider this issue from both sides, anyone who has information on the mutineers would be appreciated as well. Mr. Kirk, Mr. Solo, and Mr. Harkness. I'd be very grateful if anyone who can attest to their character or experience would step forward.

Hello, I believe introductions are in order! My name's Tommy Beresford, and I'm to be a new warden here. It's a pleasure to be working with all of you.

User Name/Nick: Emmy
User LJ: --
AIM/IM: --
E-mail: --
Other Characters: Elle and Brennan. I'm dropping Angel.

Character Name: Lt. Thomas "Tommy" Beresford
Series: Agatha Christie's The Secret Adversary (and various sequels)
Age: Early 20's. Probably around 23 (Christie describes his and Tuppence's ages added together as "not equaling 45").
From When?: After he’s been convinced that Tuppence is dead.

Inmate/Warden: Warden. Tommy’s a sweet and morally upstanding guy who will work for food.
Item: His battered green notebook.

Abilities/Powers: Nothing super-human. He was in the wartime military intelligence in WWI, so he’s a trained spy and has some fighting experience, and he's quite a talented detective, but beyond that there’s not much.

Personality: Tommy is, first and foremost, a cheerful fellow. It's hard to get him down. When confronted with strange ideas or statements, he'll usually go along with it happily, either for amusement or to humor the other person. Even when other people would get angry, Tommy remains unflappably optimistic. He almost never loses his temper or is anything but easy-going. Even when in mourning he's quite calm and reserved.

There is one topic that will get Tommy heated up when mentioned, and that's marriage. Some part of Tommy's soul is deeply romantic, and he believes very strongly that one should marry for love rather than for money. While he and Tuppence engage in joking discussion of his "prospects" as a trophy husband to some hypothetical rich lady, should the topic be brought up seriously, he has been known to get incensed. Familial love is equally important to him; he was disowned by a rich uncle for choosing to stay with his mother. His relationships are one of the things he values most.

In some ways, Tommy exemplifies the stereotypical "British gentleman" of his time. He's usually careful with his language, dresses as well as his funds will allow, displays signs of chivalry when it's called for, and maintains membership at a gentleman's club even when he's on the point of bankruptcy. As he was raised alongside the archdeacon's daughter by his respectable mother, these are likely characteristics instilled in him since childhood.

He's also fairly clever, quick-witted, and good at thinking on his feet, able to remain level-headed and talk his way out of tough situations. He's talented at knowing very little and making it seem like he knows quite a lot. He's a thinker and a practical person, and to keep his mind active when he's got nothing to do, he's almost always reading something (usually The London Times). It's noted that if left to himself, he'd usually take his sweet time thinking every little thing through. On the one occasion that he does something reckless, he figures that he got away with it once and shouldn't press his luck, and so goes right back to playing it safe and making decisions based on common sense. He has been known to take the fun out of fiction by being too critical of its lack of practicality and generally overanalyzing. (For instance, he's tailing Whittington through the streets of London, and worries what he'd do if Whittington hailed a cab. In books, there's always another cab to hop into, but he notes that there are actually very few and he'd be incredibly lucky if there was an idle one hanging around waiting for him, and goes on to imagine himself running through the streets after Whittington's cab and being stopped by a policeman to explain himself).

He doesn't have his head in the clouds the way Tuppence does, but is enamored of her fancy-free, idealistic nature. Though he'll lovingly mock her, he truly does find intuitive, reckless people to be enthralling. He's not the kind of person to write something off simply because it's different from his own way of thinking, even if he likes his way of thinking and is happy being just the way he is.

It's easy to underestimate Tommy, and he would hardly contradict anyone who did. He jokes about his good looks and puts on a false sense of pride, but is actually quite modest. When Tuppence says he's "a good sort" his response is, "Rot!" But he's actually a very moral person. Again, he loves making jokes and he'll go along with most suggestions for humor's sake, but in practice he wouldn't commit a crime unless he felt it was morally justified or wouldn't cause unpleasantness for innocent people.

Path to Redemption: n/a

History: Tommy was born in the late 1890's, in Little Missendell, Suffolk, England. He grew up alongside the Archdeacon's daughter, Prudence Cowley, known to all her friends as Tuppence. He lived with his mother growing up, but on one occasion a rich uncle offered to adopt him. Knowing he was all his mother had in the world, Tommy refused. The uncle disowned him and wrote him out of his will.

When the Great War broke out, young Tommy enlisted in the army. He was shipped off the France, where he was wounded and promoted to Lieutenant, and brought back to an officers' hospital in London. By an odd stroke of coincidence, he there met up with Tuppence, who was working as a nurse. He got her in a bit of trouble when he took her out to see a movie.

Upon recovering from his wounds, Tommy went back to France as part of the wartime military Intelligence. From France, he went on to serve in Mesopotamia, and was wounded again. After recovering, he was transferred to Egypt, where he stayed until the Treaty of Versailles was signed in June of 1919.

Ten months after being demobilized, Tommy bumped into Tuppence again in London. With very little money between them, they decided (or rather, Tuppence decided) that the best thing to do would be to advertise for jobs in the newspaper. Tuppence wanted an adventure, and Tommy could hardly say no to that. So they advertised in the paper as the Young Adventurers Ltd., who would do pretty much anything for money (the implication being that they would happily commit crimes for the right price). Tommy also relayed a conversation he had heard earlier that day, in which two men had been talking about a girl named Jane Finn.

The ad itself went nowhere, but later that day in the park Tuppence met a man calling himself Whittington, who had an offer for her. She told him her name was Jane Finn. Whittington immediately offered to pay her off, and gave her fifty pounds and told her to return the next day. But when she and Tommy went back, no one was there.

So they advertised in the paper for any information re: Jane Finn. They got two replies. The first was from "Mr. Carter," one of Tommy's superiors in the Intelligence. Carter explained that there was a draft treaty that had been made during the war, the publication of which could result in a general strike and revolution in England. It had been brought over on the Lusitania by a man named Danvers. That had been the voyage on which the Lusitania sank, and Danvers was killed. However, before the ship went down, Danvers had been seen passing the treaty off to a woman: Jane Finn. The treaty was currently being sought after by a Mr. Brown, who wished to topple the British government and seize control for himself. Carter hired Tommy and Tuppence to find Jane Finn and discover the identity of Mr. Brown. The second response had been from Julius P. Hersheimmer, an American millionaire and cousin to Jane, who was looking for her.

Tommy and Tuppence decided to go on the only clue they had, a name Whittington had said: Rita. They searched through the survivors of the Lusitania until they found Rita Vandemeyer. Tuppence went undercover as Rita's parlourmaid, while Tommy and Julius hunted down two of Rita's associates. Tommy followed his mark, a Russian man called Boris, to a mysterious house in Soho. He snuck into the house and witnessed a meeting of Mr. Brown's organization. Unfortunately, Tommy was discovered and locked up. He was held prisoner for several days, during which time he was brought his food by a French girl called Annette. Eventually, he persuaded Annette to help him escape. He immediately returned to the Ritz, where Julius was staying, only to find that Tuppence had gone off somewhere.

Julius and Tommy searched Tuppence's room and found a telegram, supposedly from Tommy, telling her to go to the Moat House in Ebury, Yorkshire. This conflicted with the bellhop's statement that Tuppence had gone to Charing Cross, since trains for Yorkshire leave from King's Cross. But Julius and Tommy assumed that the bellhop had made a mistake, especially when they found a brooch belonging to Tuppence on the grounds of Moat House.

When they got back to London, they discovered that Jane Finn had been located, but Tuppence's clothes had washed up on the shore near Ebury, and had been found by the local police. Everybody assumed Tuppence was dead.

Tommy wanted to stay on and figure out what had happened to Tuppence and stop Mr. Brown, but the Admiral offered him a job. In return for Mr. Brown being brought to justice, the treaty recovered by the government, and Tuppence safe and sound, Tommy agreed to come work on the barge.

Sample Journal Entry: I say, this is all rather new and unusual. I'm not used to, well, to this doorway leading out into a strange corridor, or anything like the view from the deck!

Oh. Pardon me. Introductions are in order! I'm Tommy, and I'm to be a new warden here. Beyond the basics, I'm afraid I know very little of the way this place is run, so any information would be quite handy, thanks.

Sample RP: Oh, what a kitchen! Everything in it seemed new and shiny, and Tommy didn't know where to look first.

Well, actually, he did. The refrigerator, of course. It was quite sleek - nothing, in fact, like the ones he was used to seeing. But it was cold and stuffed with food, so who was he to argue?

Once he'd made himself a sandwich - enough to tide him over til the next mealtime - he began wandering, poking about in places to see what this ship was like, and who the people were.

They all dressed rather oddly.

Once he'd completed his exploration for the day, Tommy returned to his room and began to munch thoughtfully on the sandwich he'd prepared. It was more than odd that everything, down to the tiniest detail, appeared the same way as it had in his room at the Ritz Hotel. He quite liked the Ritz, of course. It was very comfortable. But he hadn't anything of his own, really, save the clothes on his back. What was more troubling was that he hadn't anything of Tuppence's. Not even a photograph of her.

Well, he was doing this for her, after all. Hopefully she'd be quite happy back in England. And he certainly hoped he was doing the right thing by this arrangement he'd made.

Special Notes: n/a